awareness

maybe, just maybe, it's just the awareness what's needed. everything turned out to be so well after posting the previous entry about work, illustration and future.. my etsy shop is running smoothly and i literally can't find any time to draw for myself (well, this is not actually good news but..)

but that's okay. i believe i'll sort everything out next week, after getting a decent living address :)

deep thoughts

well, not that deep maybe. but they're still thoughts, right?

i'm talking about the money stuff. actually, not exactly money. i just want my efforts to be useful to me. i cannot eat my papers and drink watercolor after all.. (or, can i?)

i've been fooling around for about a month now, looking at the illustration sites and illustrator's blog and so on. within that month, i've also been drawing everyday. they're these little illustrations of me and my "adventurous" life. but when i come to think about this, it's like a hobby or something. me as an illustrator just doesn't feel real, since i haven't done or got the chance to make a "real" illustration. i've been participating in illustration friday for 5 weeks, and it feels great. but when i look at other illustrations, they're made by real illustrators whose job is making illustrations and illustration friday is their spare time activity. as for me, it really sucks to have nothing but spare time..

with these concerns, i finally opened an etsy "shop" today. but it only made things worse. i'm looking at a blank shop page and just don't know what to do with it.

i hope i can sort things out soon enough..